whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my being single is dangerous.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You ruined the universe
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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