watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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