chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize