you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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