I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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