so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
