sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
