He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
