I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
