I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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