You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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