he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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