There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
No subtext here. People are naked.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
