maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
its liver damage thursday
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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