She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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