Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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