If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
