Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
