I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
