No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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