Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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