My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
pop tarts are not kleenex
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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