How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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