I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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