theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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