k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
