Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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