I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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