Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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