i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
