well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize