my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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