You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
