well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize