no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
