It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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