a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize
