I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
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I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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