i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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