i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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