I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i drank out of a bidet.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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