DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
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If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
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I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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