I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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