yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
