I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
