Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
