Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
