Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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