when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
