love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
