I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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