It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
please come you make the beer taste better
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
