I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
