i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Houston, we have a blender
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
