I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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