When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i've created a new STD.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
