She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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