i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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