and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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