he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize